Video Game Review – ASSAULT ON AISLE 13


This release does NOT disappoint.

It takes “shoot-em-up” gaming to a new level by taking the battle environment to your local superstore. There – armed only with every weapon known to man – you will battle with fellow on-line warriors to slaughter as many irksome “zombie” shoppers as possible and liberate the latest i phone from Aisle 13. BUT you have to do this  BEFORE Granny can get to the Quick Service Till and buy a copy of  “The Peoples Friend”  with her  30p money off coupon.

Hours of work on graphics enhancement have really paid off – we particularly like the way see you can the blood soak into the chavs’ pink velour tracksuit bottoms. Another nice touch is that when  you pull your bayonet out of the pensioner’s head you can see every detail of their hearing aid. All the mayhem and slaughter is cleverly worked into the Supermarket environment… in the background you can even see the dead victims being carved up on the bacon slicer in the Cold Meats Section – ready to be sold in the delicatessen.

Look out for the nicely built-in extras – for instance you can jump several levels by bazooka-ing  the Lottery Ticket queue OR find a secret extra level if you nuke the Help/Customer Services Desk

One for the young enthusiastic psychopath in YOUR neighbourhood.

Verdict:   95%

A “must have”

Rating: 18 +*

(* IQ of greater than 18 needed)

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Some quotes I made up earlier…


This blog having been in existence for more than a month, I thought it time to post some of the comments  that I have made up so far:

David Cameroon:

“…proves that free speech is not all it’s cracked up to be…”

 

The Struggle-for-the-right-word Society:

“Wee thank hees a cult

Stephen Frie:

“vomit in a written form”

Alfred Einstein:

e= mc(hammer)2

Ian Heslop:

“has everything you could want in a comic blog… apart from humour”

New Year SodUko Puzzle


Just a bit of New Year fun…..

The object of the game is ….I have absolutely no idea….

If you can complete the grid in less than 20 minutes then it is VITAL you seek medical attention immediately.

Click on the grid below to enlarge

(Please don’t turn your back on the penguin…just £2 a month…)

No penguins were harmed in the making of this grid

 

 

 

 

 

Penguin image by kind courtesy of:

http://www.free-stockphotos.com

(other penguin images MAY be available)

when technology goes bad…..


Every machine I have contact with seems to have turned against me.

My  PC treats me with disdain….

(PLEASE ‘CLICK‘ on the ‘Blue Screen of Death’ -below – to enlarge it – then you’ll see what I’m on about)….

 

 

The bank’s cash machine is openly hostile towards me.

I swear it tried to catch my fingers last time I tried to insert my card…

My sat nav keeps directing me towards Beachy Head…and urging me to:

“…put my foot down…”

I think I might cancel the order for the colonic irrigation machine.