I remember my “uncle” giving me one of these….

Certain adverts stick in the mind…others in the back of your throat…

One that – despite years of therapy – I will never shake off was for the:

“Werthers”  original sweetie…

I don’t know whether it was the tone of the voiceover, the words in the narrative or something else… but  instead of portraying an image of treasured childhood memories..it came over more like a documentary on:  “How to be a paedophile”.

“I’ll ALWAYS remember my first Werthers original….!

(of course he will – his arse was sore for weeks afterwards)

“Grandad” was staring FAR too intently at the grandchild (target/victim) and was practically salivating..and – whilst his lower half was out of shot –  my money says the old boy’s trousers were down around his ankles.

Personally I think the kids’s face should have been “pixellated” out.



“Have a sweetie..”       the choice of pervies worldwide?


How the Universe was Created………. according to Nobby

I can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that there is  now a startling new theory as to how the Universe began.

The Scientific and Religious theories developed over centuries are being challenged by my mate Nobby down at our local pub: “The Crusty Gusset”.

He may not be a scientist but he very nearly did ONE of the puzzles in last week’s:

“Take a Break” .

He has  spent literally minutes trawling the web and laboriously doctoring Winkapaedophile pages with false supporting evidence.

Forget “Big Bang”

Read Genesis ….. and forget that as well…

Planet Earth, the Universe and everything in it (including the “Nob-ster”) all came into being when God pointed to his mate and said:

and I am sorry to have to report that, alas, God ISN’T everywhere…

he’s not on FACEBOOK for a start…