Posted on

Nothing like ‘Connect Four’

You might want to mention this game to the more ‘gifted‘ relatives that may visit you at Christmas….

It’s called:

Link 3 together AND another one”

(NOT to be confused with similar games)

It’s great to see their little faces light up…though I find it useful to keep a cloth handy in case they dribble…

Very easy to play.

All you will need is (see picture below):

Click on picture to enlarge if this will help at all

ONE Birds Eye Waffle (other brands are available)
ONE tin of peas (SMALL)
ONE tin of SweetCorn.


* do NOT use mushy peas
* do NOT substitute hash browns for the waffle


1) OPEN tin of peas
OPEN tin of sweetcorn

2) Remove 12 peas from the tin
Remove 12 sweetcorn kernel from the tin

3) Place waffle on a flat surface WITHIN reach of the players

4) Take turns to insert your coloured pieces (green/peas), (yellow/sweetcorn)
in the playing ‘grid’ (waffle) until one player has a complete line of 3…and another one
(sometimes referred to as: “4”) vertically, horizontally or diagonally

PIECES INSERTED ANYWHERE OUTSIDE THE GRID (nostrils, earholes etc.,) do NOT count.

5) Do NOT get over excited when inserting your piece and shout:
– that is a COMPLETELY different game


Players should take turns quickly BEFORE the waffle fully defrosts.
Playing time can be increased by reducing the room temperature
(does not apply to residents of Finland or either Arctic region playing outdoors)

Whilst all three components ARE vegetables it does not count towards your “5-a-day”.

Eating the waffle immediately eliminates the ‘eating’ player.

Playing time can also be increased by :

  • playing whilst blindfolded
  • hiding the waffle in a neighbours house  (permission of neighbour SHOULD be sought, preferably beforehand)
  • wearing oven gloves whilst playing

Blinding your opponent to increase playing time is NOT permitted.

Full rules and details (2010 Playing Regulations – version 7.3) can be found at:


About they still let me vote

David Martin John, was created in an American lab by a scientist who - in a fit of pique following his exclusion from the team working on the Roswell (‘Alien Discovery’) project - grafted a baboon’s arse onto a butterfly. As a result David is extremely fond of bananas (he will happily stare at them for hours) but suffers from an irrational fear of getting trapped in net curtains. Abandoned by the elders of the tribe…David struggled in the wild but, at first glance, APPEARS to have integrated – to an admittedly limited degree – into society. Raised by badgers just outside an English Village that was twinned with Chernobyl…he soon withdrew into his own troubled mind only to be sexually abused by his imaginary friend. The one time he actually did manage to ‘make’ friends was when he went to Legoland. Twenty years may have passed, but he still remains bitter about what he considers the unreasonable rejection by Publishers of his first manuscript: “Noddy and the Daleks”. Determined to be at least a minor celebrity he suffered another setback when he underwent a lavish and expensive boob job before he had read BOTH questions on the “Page 3 Girl” Application Form. He counts Professor Brian Cox among his friends – which is ludicrous as he’s never met him - but this is apparently quite common with David’s Mental condition. David was invalided out of the Police Force in 1998 after – perhaps unwisely – asking a GBH suspect to show him:“…EXACTLY what happened…” When he lay stricken and in a coma in hospital (the greengrocers weren’t remotely interested) his parents rushed to his bedside. They visited daily – despite not knowing whether David could even hear – trying to encourage him with tape recordings of other people dying. Devastated to find that there was no “Pause” button on his Life Support machine they still came… just clinging to the hope they might finally hear those longed-for precious little words; “…time of death…” David survived their repeated attempts at poisoning and smothering, recovering enough to be able to testify in Court. His parents got off on a technicality – the Judge, in his summing up, said he would have done the same thing. Although there was overwhelming forensic evidence to the contrary, he also accepted that they COULD have been “simply plumping up the pillows” as claimed. In 2007 David took another turn for the worse when he took the Government’s dismissal of his idea for a “massive almost-globe-like structure to celebrate the new Millenia” very badly. 2009 also proved a dificult year when, during his resitting of a routine urine test, Doctors found no brain activity and remove several vital organs. Now banned for life by Tescos, since 2010, following an incident in the vegetable section that the family refuse to discuss, he now lives pretty much as a recluse – confined to the Ward – filling his days watching taped repeats of his relatives embarassing themselves on “You’ve Been Framed” … David is living proof (albeit in a “permanent vegatative state”) that medical treatment of the criminally insane has a long way to go……

2 responses to “Nothing like ‘Connect Four’

  1. Jen ⋅

    Lmao. BRILLIANT!!!! Never will I look at a waffle the same again!!!!! Hahahahaha!! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s